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Jul 28

The mother’s relationship with the adolescent

Being the mother of a teenager is different from the period in which your child was a baby. The rules are changing and the relationships also. Many experts say that at the teenage the mother’s role diminishes, being taken rather by the father in terms of discipline and child’s education.

It seems that the relationship between the mother and adolescent child is in a continuous cooling as the child gets older. The adolescents become more autonomous, responsible, more in control of their own forces and have interests that are contrary to the mothers’ concepts. This time of the child’s life is very dangerous. If neither the mother nor the child is invested in maintaining a good relationship, even the best mother-child friendships can turn into dysfunctional family relationships that will eventually affect both sides.

The relationship between the mother and adolescent can be either a very close one or a very cold and indifferent one. A cold relationship should be fixed as soon as possible because indifference won’t take long to turn into resentment which in turn will lead to dysfunctional family relationships. If you don’t have a close relationship with your child it is good to know that what can help you change the situation is communication. This is extremely important at this age, but sometimes the typical changes of adolescent age can interfere with the specific interactions and discussions between parents and children.

The communication opportunities start to disappear since the child becomes more interested in spending as much time alone, with friends or boyfriend or girlfriend. If during early childhood the discussions took place around toys and school, in adolescence this center moves to friends, peers, and colleagues. The teenage years are very important in a child’s education as this period contains a lot of transformations. The children are no longer looking at the parents as role models. Instead, they try to model their life after their favorite celebrities. It is a lot more dangerous for girls as they have to deal with abnormal standards of beauty. In order to keep your daughter away from dangerous eating disorders try to influence her to take women fitness models as role models. These women look good but are also in top shape as they exercise regularly and keep a healthy diet.

There are several new rules that you have to consider in the disciplinary and educational approach of the child. Now you talk from other positions and it is your turn to respect his rights, even if he’s still a minor.

  • respect the privacy of the adolescent;
  • be an example for him in everything he does;
  • encourage him and support him always;
  • give him advice, justifying their usefulness by calling to examples;
  • treat him like a responsible little adult (show him that you trust him and that you see him as a ‘big child’ giving him various tasks and complex things to do);
  • earn his trust (keep the secrets and demonstrate he can trust you);
  • maintain visual contact when you talk with him and do nothing in the meantime;
  • give him your full attention;
  • talk with him about all sorts of taboo things or not – from sexual problems, policy, death, drugs, suicide, and so on.

Communication is the key to any successful relationship between the mother and the adolescent, be it boys or girls. On the other hand, it is important that you know how to listen to teenagers. For this, you must give proof of patience and to pay him attention whenever he needs you. Only in this way, you will strengthen the relationship. In addition, in this way, you will teach him by example and he will learn that he in turn must know how to listen. In order to communicate efficiently, you must try to have a balanced lifestyle so that your children can look up to you. For example, if you have weight problems, you will have very little chances of convincing your daughter to take women fitness models as role models. Don’t ask your children to behave in a certain way if you can’t do it yourself.

 

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